Thursday, March 27, 2008

39th post....

Do i think i have the license to break down? i think so....

My exams in 19 days..
A 2000 words wiki paper on sunday
3 test in succession... monday, tuesday, wednesday... den test again..
i take 9 subjects in university... i am scare shitless bout the coming exams... if i failed to do well, i might take more den 4 years to grad...

i need space... space to be able to have a night to myself to quietly do my stuff... study, play, enjoy my remaining hall life which is ending v v soon n i will nv be able to have to again... to chit chat wif my hall buddies.. to play soccer...

i need to be able to do the things i wanna do wif no fear... i don like having to report every movement and every hour...

i am under enormous stress to be able to sense feelings.. sense wants... i need time for my family which i value very very much... if i only have my alone time starting from midnight, i will be sleeping very late.. Can't be blamed...

i am juz angry and shouted... i need a break... i need a clear mind n alone time for the hurdles ahead... the exams... life is hard... even harder when u get older.. when u felt tt u r not only responsible for urself... but responsible for ur time n my time? i am exhausted... energy squeezed dry....

i need trust, need u to be confident, need space, need respect, understanding...

blogging isn't a crime. facebook isn't a crime, having female frens isn't a crime, befren co-star isn't a crime, having msn isn't a crime... nth is..... not having trust is a burden... a cumulative burden tt i juz got flattened by... i have done enough to earn it i believe.. but i am nv given.. All i can say is.... wan xi...... too bad.........................................................................

GRHHhH!!!!!!! WAH!!!!!!!!!! GOSH!!!!!

HAO XIN TONG ARH!!!
JIU MING ARH!!!!!

4 comments:

  1. hey, also from ntu here, final yr already..
    hang in there, 4 yrs will fly past very fast de..
    since u have chosen this path to juggle acting and school, u noe from the start tt it won't be easy..
    muz 'jian chi' till the end.. i'm sure u can do it!
    Be strong, seek comfort in ur family and jia you!

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  2. goodness.
    u okay or not??!
    dun so stress lah.
    try not to think too much, and concentrate on wadever u are doing.
    now's exams period right, juz focus on your studies first, critisms and other trivial stuffs would subside as the time passes.
    relaxation and family time, hmm.. would depend on your time management bah. surely can squeeze out some time in between de lah. and i'm sure your family would understand.
    everything would turn out fine eventually. juz slightly change ur angle of view, u'll realise that things isnt that bad actually.
    JIA YOUUU!! =D

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  3. As a actor / actress is very hard to juggle between work, family, personal life, love life, study life. Hope the getaway did you some good, although i felt in your blog post you felt very upset and lonely.

    Whatever it is, as human jealousy definately will flood reality thots. Be strong for yourself and be good to yourself. I believe your carrer will take off well .... hope to see more of your goodwork.

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  4. CX... Must Jia you alright? Whether u are a unpopular student or u are a popular star, there's always endless talk that surrounds. Dun be too bother with what others says. What matters is what u think about urself. I remembered one of my lecturer once told me this. Nobody has the right to judge u except u urself. Do ur best now and bear it for the moment. Whenever u are down and sad, think of the sunrise u saw. Rain does happens when least prepared but it always clears after a shower and beautiful clear blue sky appear once again. Good Luck for ur Exams... ^_^ Will pray for ya.

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