Wednesday, July 30, 2008

74th post.

See the picture above? its my latest drawing... Sometimes i juz have this scenery stuck in my head den i will want to paint it out... juz a scene tt struck me.. So having a super duper boring n lonely day today... i painted.. today is like one of the most "eventless" ( opposite of eventful) day since i can rem.. i wake up, have breakfast at 2 pm den go back n lie on my bed.. sleep, wake up, sleep, wake up.. wanna move n do something but nth can be done.. den go look at the basketball court downstairs also no one play basketball... after tt juz go have dinner at grandma house... its juz like.. i felt tt even i disappear from this world for 4 hrs n no one will know... it has been a long time since i felt this way... hmmz... at night when my mom goes to sleep after i watch tv wif her til 1 plus.. i wan to do something.. yday i go jogging.. jog a long route tt i nv took b4.. wif my hp's music on... wrong choice thou cos i juz eaten n my leg is injured... i vomited twice during the jog but didn't stop til i complete it... my leg is injured over a soccer match over the weekend... my ankle was having a big swell due to someone stamping on it. den shin got this big patch of blue black n left arm scratches n swell.. i am not whining la.. but i seldom get so much injured parts la.. always 1 part only... so yday's jog actually make the swell in my ankle hurt more n today i juz couldn't chose jogging as my time killer anymore.. friday got celebrity soccer match.. sunday morning got "lucky strike" (the soccer team i am in wif my brother) friendly match... ok.. long story over... which is y... i juz painted.. nth else i could do... i use the canvas which is on a frame de.. .bought together wif val for a long time le.. but none of us bear to use.. cos more expensive ma.. we always use the $2 flat one.. this is like $7 i think.. i think juz leave it there nv use also wasted, so i painted.. not as happy wif it as my autumn tree painting but ok lo... juz something tt i painted on impulse...

Watched "the notebook" yday... which maybe a source of idea for this painting.. anyone watched it b4? i start watching it like 4 am.. n watch til 6 plus.. its about this guy n gal met in a summer vacation of the rich gal.. the guy is juz a poor village boy. they fell in love.. den separated becos of female parent's objection... den the boy wrote letters n stuff to her all get blocked by the mom n the gal moved on n found a new guy.. the boy went to realise a vision they had n rebuild a old house the way they said they wanted it to be.. den obviously they met again.. the gal have to chose between the boy n her fiance who is v rich n very nice... she love both.. but in the end.. obviously following the heart matters most! chosed the guy.. n at present time.. the gal is old le.. den senile.. so the husband keep repeating the story of the past to her everyday.. n den miracle happen.. she rem who she is n her husband.. den 5 mins later forgets n forget who he is again.. the ending part.. she finally rems n they hold hand n sleep together n die together... touching.. very touching... which i realise... in movie.. they always ask u to follow ur heart... anyone would tell u tt if u don follow ur heart, u will regret it in future for certain.. but............ is following ur heart really applicable in real life? heart n mind.. both r important part of ur body.. and y are they always contradicting.... so follow the heart? or be rational??

PS: chengxi is lonely, very lonely......

1 comment:

  1. Hi Chengxi,

    Your drawing is very nice & looks more professional le...
    u really improved alot lor...
    But from the drawing can see that u really feel very lonely & sad.

    Chengxi, pls cheer up abit ok?
    Don't think so negetive! 乐观一点。。。
    Don't say that even if u r disappeared, nobody will know lor...
    Actually, last time me myself used to think this way too.
    But now already try not to think so much le...

    When feeling sad, u must think of those people around u who really care abt u.
    Like your family, friends & fans all care abt u so much lor...
    We all as ur fans don't wish to see a sad & 悲观 的 Chengxi.
    If u feel sad, we all will also feel sad as well.

    I really hope u can "heal" & "recover" from all these & ur emotions.
    Hope to see a cheerful Chengxi coming back soon!

    Take care.

    ReplyDelete