Tuesday, November 25, 2008

89th post...

Hi all!!! finally i blogged... Just finished most of my papers... left 1 paper on thurs... tt one kinda no need to study de paper la.. yups...

Recently nv blog.. i went thru lots of ups and downs in life.. i think.. i grew up in thinking 4 years in 4 mths... yeah... hmmz... This year... i guess.. its the only year for very very long time that i don have a special someone to celebrate my coming birthday and Xmas with me ba... its going december now... its holiday! but.... 1st time.. i felt no excitement in holidays.. only sianz... boredom... i just feel that i could cope myself at home this whole mth n rot... and maybe think about stuff in life... realise that i am gonna be 24 in a few days time.. realise that i need to have my own thoughts.. my own dream... my own direction.. i guess its a part n parcel thing for every student that i gonna graduate... but yeah.. i need to be alone n do lotsa thinking... i went pass the stage of youth that i tot "hei, as long as i try my best, everything is achievable"... now reaching the stage that "life is full of wu nai, u juz have to live with it.. somethings... are juz not meant to be".....

The same thing i realise is... for every man existence... we don juz live for ourselves... we live for a cause... we live for the pple ard us... we live to serve a purpose.. and the purpose is? for me.. its to live a happy life.. is to let pple ard me be happy too!! sounds easy eh.. but it really hard... not easily achievable...

Ever heard of the phrase "If u tried your best, the results doesn't matter.. u will have no regrets"..... recently... i had this cause in life... this cause that i really wanted to make it happen.. even willing to trade years of my life.. or rather everything i could to make it work.... i seriously give my all... Til the point that i am obsessed.. I am crazy over it... In the end... the cause didn't work out... Sad yes! very very sad! but did i tried my best? i did... i did everything i possibly could.... every single bit of my energy.. my financial capability... my time... my effort.. my love...... I hold nth back... so i rem the above phrase... i tried my best... results doesn't matter... no regret... easier said den done... but a very very true phrase indeed... trying to achieve tt....

Oh... Have u all ever wondered.... if u walk up to an artiste and tell him/her that u like his show... how would he think? u would probably think that he wouldn't even rem u ba.. but.... recently.. a hawker auntie said to me "hei, u r tt actor right, long time nv see ur show leh, tot ur show not bad.. looking forward to your next one!" Honestly.. tt instance touched me... its probably a casual remark but hei! i realise that my work actually make a certain someone in this country a happier person? or rather plays a part in making a person having some entertaiment? it really made my day! and thou i heard some comments on how the mediacorp produce "rubbish" shows.. i wanted to stand up and say "hei! we r actually entertaining pple u know? we have a purpose and we serve it! yes we don have millions of budget to produce very very high quality show to compare wif overseas, but we have a job here to entertain the locals and i believe its the effort of many pple to make it work and we did it!" it is actually very hurting to hear that something that u put in so much effort to do being brush off as "rubbish"...

And here is another realisation.. and that the word "cherish"... alot of pple took alot of things ard us for granted... for eg.. if ur parents/grandparents wash/fold your clothes for u... have u ever stopped and wonder its actually a very nice act? or u know.. whoever besides u.. who do nice things for u... did u think u r cherishing it enough? cos pple always cherish after losing something.. if a stranger does it for u.. u will feel ps n feel that the stranger is super gd... but when it comes to someone close.. its natural that u took it for granted.. so in the end.. the gratitude to tt stranger who does it once is much more den someone close to u who does it everyday... isn't tt weird? i hereby asked everyone to think bout it and show some gratitude to the pple ard u... i myself is in this learning ladder of cherish.. i wan to cherish everything i have... sometimes what u wanted is actually what u have and not what u are frantically chasing after yarh? don fall into the "grass is greener on the other side" trap?

Recently i was riding at expressway.. i realise that the flowers/plantations along the roads are actually very nice! when i reach home, i realise my living environment is actually filled wif flowers and trees and becos they are like at my house downstairs. i nv actually look at them... i took effort to look and appreciate them n realise that they are actually very nice! haha.... took some photos of the sunset and rainbow... its such a nice world.... shall upload them tml k?

Oh.. suddenly tot of.. any fans out there wanna celebrate my bday? maybe we can get a mini gathering too ( like jx )... will start thinking of the idea if got more den like 20? shall see response on tag... haha...

The song uploaded! very nice! very apt.. lyrics below...
回家的路总是很远
话少得很可怜
一个人的晚餐
都是孤单的滋味
看见身边重复上演
属于我们的画面
选择逃避的眼
怎么还是会流泪
爱着你的每一天
你就是我的世界
那时候还以为
我就爱这一遍
没有你的每一天
快乐离我好遥远
心已随你走了
还能用什么感觉

我舍不得睁开眼睛
害怕身边没有你
也许在梦境里
是我们最近的距离
想念你温热的手心
冷风里把我握紧
当冬天又来临
这温度该怎么延续

谢谢你曾经爱过我
给我最美的经过
但生命最爱被剥夺
未来的路该怎么走

4 comments:

  1. hey~congrats~ exam gonna be over for you. I'm from NUS...last sem for me~last paper on thurs. Excited abt graduation but like wat u said...lots to think about...future..career..many many more. Much more than i expected~*grinz~ Hope you will find your purpose in life and direction too~ Anyway I like the song you post up today too. Was also listening to it recently, nice, sad but beautiful song. Anyway did you went for Cape no.7's gala premier~ It was dark, so I didnt manage to see if that was you or your bro. I guess is you though~:)

    Your new blog reader:)

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  2. Hi Chengxi,

    Your post is always so meaningful.
    Really like reading ur blog. Heehee... :-)

    Hmmm... actually sometimes i have some of the same thinking as u.
    Ya... what u said are so true.
    Life is really full of ups & downs.
    We can't control everything in our life. That's quite sad & bad too. I really have to agree wif u tat life is full of wu nai. ZHEN DE!!!
    Cos i am also feeling very wu nai in life. It's really NOT easy to be happy & we always need to force ourselves to be happy in front of family or even friends. It's also sad tat when u cherish someone but yet tat person hurts u so much in return. Haizzz... Sometimes, some things can really made us go crazy. >_<
    So the most important thing is tat we really need to try to be more optimistic & think more positively in order to be more happy in life. Frankly speaking, i know it's hard but i'm still trying to. Hope u can try too. (",)

    Wow... pics of sunset & rainbow!?
    It should be nice.
    Sometimes i will also take some pics of the sunrise & the beautiful sky. =D

    Thanks for sharing the nice song!
    Recently i am also listening to the korean version of this song.
    Really love this song so much!
    What a touching, nice & sad song.
    The chinese lyrics are so meaningful.

    Juz wanna share wif u the korean version of the song wif a touching story:-
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=715VJr4A6zI

    Take care & looking forward to ur birthday celebration! ^_^

    P.S: Sorry for my long msg/comment. =P

    ReplyDelete
  3. I ever believe in the statement of "if you tried your best, then results doesn't matter". But recently, I was struck by another phrase.. Trying your best is only putting in the best that is defined by you. But it might not be the best afterall. So how do u know that you have already tried the best?

    ReplyDelete
  4. hihi chengxi哥哥
    (consider that u elder than me)
    我打中文没关系吧?^^
    对了!
    我是第一次看你的blog...
    才知道原来这首歌有华语版本的呢..
    因为我比较常听kpop的..
    谢谢你让我有机会听到~
    我是来自马来西亚的fans哦!
    (最近大马还在播《宝贝父女兵》呢...)
    觉得像你这样,成为艺人后还跟平常人一样和fans交流真的很特别...
    我从没想过fans可以跟偶像这么亲近的。
    透过你的blog,我们都可以了解到你的学生还有演艺生活。
    真的很棒!
    希望你要加油咯!
    对了...
    我的msn是jacelyn929@hotmail.com
    已经add你了~
    如果看到请approve我哦!
    赫赫

    ReplyDelete