Sunday, November 29, 2009

160th post

I juz came back from wavehouse... party.. quite boring... like... its not fun la.. guess i am just not a beach party kinda person... saw shuana.. since like "tt day"....
ok... know shuana will be reading my blog.. so........ here goes...

Shuana is super drunk... i was following her to the toilet for her to puke and stuff... from the 2 time tt we were alone in the club, the 1st time when u drag mi to wanna throw mi into the pool... in the end i scoot while u were talking to a fren... i was actually hiding behind a tree looking at u searching for me.... the 2nd time is after u puke.. we were sitting there...

there were still many hugs.. and honestly.... i still see sorrows in ur eyes... maybe i am thinking too much... think u r drowning ur sorrows... which is y u drink so much... and got so totally wasted... as much as i do care for u... as a person.. as a close fren.... i do not wish to see u in such a state... i was actually quite hurt to see u so hurt... and knowing all too well tt ur sorrows is caused by me...

u r always the chirpy and happy young girl!! enjoying urself and stuff... today... although u r still acting like u always do... but when our eyes met... the amount of sadness is so tremendous tt i really really felt so... i can't help but have to say sorry again... sorry for putting such sadness into ur happy soul...

i am stuck... stuck between to take care of u and to act oblivious to it... which is the better thing to do? which can reduce ur sorrows? i know not... honestly.... felt sucky... as jiaxi said... this is one of the most cruel thing i ever did... :(

plz no comments like "don blame urself", "its not anyone's fault" kinda thing... i know fully well wat pple can say to console me or her but yes... i don like consolation.. so to all readers... plz refrain from it..

1 comment:

  1. guess it's not about acting oblivious but rather, caring for her in a way tt doesn't make her interpret things in the wrong way. there just seems to be this thing in asians, abt not speaking up. but if speaking up does clarify things, why not? seems easier than trying to guess what the other person is thinking and such.

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